What could it possibly be??? [EMERGENCY] [PLEASE READ & REPLY]

Vor over 8 years

Ok. So all this time has gone by and I have somewhat healed as much as possible given I have only gained a deeper love and desire to regain my ex in a better relationship with and for our family.

We split in August, and the last day she let me see my children was Oct. 24th, 2010. I’ve went through the court systems in my state and none of them are set to help young African American men who want to b held accountable for parenting his children. My emails to her (that’s the only way I know to contact her) go ignored even after I have taken a completely passive approach to just being (re)allowed to help raise my beautiful children.

I have reached the end of all possible solutions and I really need some help! I’m curious if she would deny me my right because she has kept a lie from me for 6yrs and 3 children that may not be mine at all.

Times are hard and NO! I’m not askin for free services, just simple incite, instruction, or another possible approach I could take with her to ease whatever darkness is keeping her from being receptive enough to let me have a relationship with my children. Anything! Something!

I fear that there is a “human force” (her new boyfriend, jealous friends, her mother) that is deterring her from extending to me but I cannot b 100% sure of that suspicion.

So… my question is; Is there anything I can say to her via email (our only form of communication currently) to get her to at least consider letting me see my children for even a moment?

Vor over 8 years
angel90 hat kein Foto hochgeladen

Debbie (angel90)

399 Beiträge

you have not exhausted all your options.

You need to seek legal advice a community law centre is a good place to start.

You need to get paternity tests done on all the children to prove that you are the father as that strengthens your case.

You need to go for shared custody not sole custody.

If you think that the childrens mother is an unfit parent you could look at having her sectioned which is a psychiatric evaluation.

In order to proceed you first need to seek legal advice on how to go about the above as the courts only deal in fact.

That is why a paternity test is so important. A judge may not grant you any access if you are not the father.

That is why you have to go back and seek legal advice on the above.

Don’t give up

Vor over 8 years
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jenny Fardell (garnetta)

185 Beiträge

What other authorities have been involved? Did you go to the courts yourself, or have there been social workers and other professional bodies working on your behalf? Maybe you need someone here who knows about your state’s legal systems and other professional routes you can tap into. The only other thing I can think of is that if you feel the court isn’t taking you seriously on account of you being African, then you should appeal to a human rights/race discrimination body? That won’t be a quick solution, though. The other thing I suggest is that you ask someone in a professional, but objective, position to help out. For instance a preacher or your ex-partner’s doctor? to see if she’ll talk to you through them. Another suggestion is that you feel the children have a right to see you, and it would be detrimental to their welfare if they didn’t… There must be some sort of authority in your state which deals with the welfare of children and parental rights??? If you are named as the father on their birth certificates, you’ll have more access to paternal rights than if your name isn’t on those certificates, unfortunately. I hope this helps in some way. In Scotland there are a few legal avenues and organisations a father separated from his children could access to help get this sorted out. I’m so sorry you and your children have been forcibly torn apart and I hope there’s some way to resolve it. :(

Vor over 8 years
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ME (destinyseeker)

104 Beiträge

Due to similar circumstances, I was brought to where I am now!

You’re trying to maintain the contact! (Good Thing) which will go in your favour FOR you if this does go to court!

Because you are now unsure of paternity – IF this goes to court, and you mention this, there’s a strong chance you will have to take paternity tests! I know where you are with this, i went through it. I have to be honest, she was a complete and utter cow.

When you say you believe that other people may be deterring her this could be the case! BUT, this is between YOU and HER, and the kids, so no matter what these people are doing or saying, they have no right whatsoever to come between you, and nothing they say or do can ever or should never affect your relationship with your children.

It’s probably making you angry, right? She way she ignores you? Especially when all you want is contact, and especially when you’ve done nothing. You’re being the better man here. It’s hard – I know. Take this to the courts if you have the means to provide the support to see them every now and then, on a regular basis then go for it. ANY contact whatsoever is better than NO contact.

Vor over 8 years
destinyseeker hat kein Foto hochgeladen

ME (destinyseeker)

104 Beiträge

I don’t know about the system in your state – But to answer your question too.. To try and make her realise,.. Simply tell her,..

This is about the children. Not about us. I want to maintain the contact, for them more than anything, because they need stability. Think about them and what they want. I will try my best by them. They have us both. They will need us both Let me do my bit, let me take responsibility, I’m willing to. Ask them what they would like. Think about their wants and needs.

(obviously, don’t go word for word, but just make her see that this about the children, which it is. You too as a dad, but obviously they come first)

IF YOU CAN TRY AND MAKE THAT POINT TO HER, IT MAY MAKE HER THINK, SHE’LL HAVE TO READ IT!!

Vor over 8 years

The state is Ohio. Here, the mother is given 100% custodial rights at birth until a judge or magistrate rules otherwise. That being said, I have taken up my concerns with the Local CPS Department, Job & Family Services, Paternity, and custodial, as well as legal and nothing has transpired yet.

I am very respectful and passive on my emails to her asking for a relationship with my kids as well. Our story is pretty deep as it is but even after all we’ve gone through I still love her and more importantly I Still deserve to be in my children’s live whether we are together or not.

To be honest, I’d like to know her train of thought on why she is not receptive to giving me my right as a father back but there’s no likelihood in that. And I was tossed around in the system in a similar way as a child and I’m afraid of forcing my kids to repeat that cycle. Legal approach did not work for me here and part of the reason is because not only is she withholding them from me but their information as well (i.e. I have no way to contact or see them either, not even an address to send financial support). She has not petitioned me for child support either so the question of my paternity comes in with her lack of action on that behalf when since our breakup she has done nothing but slander my name and depict me as a monster; doing everything in her power to destroy me mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally.

Aug. 4, 2010 – March 1, 2011 is how long we’ve been apart and she still holds this hatred for me and to be quite frank, I was the best man I could be to her and for our family. I really don’t know what drove us apart and yes I miss her dearly. The fact of the matter is, in my state of mind and after all that has happened, I just wanna be peaceful! What approach do I take with her to invoke PEACE? HEALING? COMPROMISE FOR A GREATER PURPOSE?

Where have I went wrong?

I am open to ALL/ANY psychic incite as well! I just want some solid information to make sound decisions to create a better situation for our children, her, and I to readjust and live comfortably again.

[MY MOST SINCERE THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HAVE READ AND RESPONDED THEIR INCITE AND THOSE WHO MAY POST AFTER THIS MESSAGE]

Vor over 8 years
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MRS.LEA.GARCIA☼ (ms.lea.garcia)

285 Beiträge

hi Terrell i am also in ohio i have my own bussines studio and the energy from you would be extremely strong i will help you and provide you the advice you NEED!

Vor over 8 years
angel90 hat kein Foto hochgeladen

Debbie (angel90)

399 Beiträge

hi

If you are the father you have rights if your ex is being daifficult you need to keep a record to use in court against her as stated you need to go back to a lawyer psychic evidance does not hold up in court the courts only deal in fact if this case is still pending then it could be the judge needs to make a decision.

Paternity + evidance your ex is being difficult = a strong case you need to go for shared custody you have rights as the father how do I know these facts because I know 2 guys who went through what you are.

You need to seek legal advice

Please do this it is your best chance

Vor over 8 years
destinyseeker hat kein Foto hochgeladen

ME (destinyseeker)

104 Beiträge

Psychic Lawyer.. Good point Debbie.

Terrell.. This seems as if it’s going to drag on, so PLEASE understand that a Strong mind is needed, it’s a testing situation to be in, but so so wrong for you to be going through this when YOU actually want to be there. AND – your kids are probably missing their dad, the man who brought them up. SHE can’t expect them to just switch off their feelings for you, they’re kids.