?

over 13 years ago
destinyseeker didn't upload a photo

ME (destinyseeker)

104 posts

A weird kind of thing going on..

After months, i finally thought i’d tell someone, or make them realise that i weren’t playing games anymore. Their response was self pity. Then it’s as if they dragged me into a false sense of security, got me to admit some feelings, and then changed their attitude.

I then gave an ultimatum, as it’s been going on for a while, and said i didn’t want it to turn nasty, and tried to save whatever we may have had. No response straight away.. But then when there was, it was self pity. Obviously we like each other, but yet, now i finally decided to actually be more honest, she’s still acting like this. Please can anyone actually tell me what is happening with maybe a bit of psychology?

over 13 years ago
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angel (angel34)

416 posts

It is mind games that is what people do what star signs are you that is a starting point. The question here is she may have been testing you to see where she stood with you. Never give an ultermatum it never works and gets peoples backs up and makes then dig their heels in. At this point you have a choice either you want this person in your life and if that is the case you need to sit down and have a chat and be honest with her of where you see things going between you but if she is not someone that you want in your life then you need to bring some distance into the picture or at least tell her that you do not see a future with her and that it is best to either remain friends or part for good but you have to have a chat with her that is the only way that you are going to sort this. Mind games such as manipulation to get something out of someone is not healthy she needs to stop doing this as it is not a mature way to behave the lines of communication need to be opened up and you need to tell her that things cannot keep going like this that you deserve more respect than what you are getting from her that perhaps time away from each other to figure out what each wants might be best and then perhaps you will both be on the same page to then have a proper chat about what each other wants but what she is doing is not fair on you and your emotional health you need to take care of number one first as no one else will do it for you and once you do that then you will be in better position to deal with stuff like this as this is affecting you and you do not want it to get any worse. But I would be asking do you see a future with her first and go from there.

over 13 years ago
destinyseeker didn't upload a photo

ME (destinyseeker)

104 posts

What do you think about the self pity part on her behalf?

over 13 years ago
angel34 didn't upload a photo

angel (angel34)

416 posts

She probably has self esteem issues what was her childhood like, how do people treat her, what were her past relationships like and the other thing when you say self pity what sort of things does she say an example or 2 of what she says could help as there could be a million things going on.

She is manipulating you I put up with this sort of thing from a guy for 5 years that was a scorpio. They are manipulative, controlling, secretive, and do tend to tell lies without a second thought. One line that guy used on me no one will ever accept you like I do. The reason why she thinks as you put it nothing good ever stays with me is beacuse all the other guys before you got fed up and saw right through her and walked away what she has created is a self fufilling prophecy that has taken on a life of its own. The question is do you see a future with her if yes put this back on her tell her that you see a future with her that you are not going anywhere as long as the self pitty stops and if she does not want to lose you she will make the effort. If you don’t see a future I would recommend a clean break a friendship is only going to be harmful on you as she will continue this with you as long as you let her.

over 13 years ago
destinyseeker didn't upload a photo

ME (destinyseeker)

104 posts

Firstly, thanks for the first reply. I’m libra, she’s Scorpio. I’m not a big fan on Astrology, but i’ve read the signs, and they seem a match – as our signs can help each other. Also, she’s supposed to be very secretive. I agree with that. The self-pity – After I said, well i can’t take anymore basically saying i’d given enough chances, her response was (Nothing good stays with me, absolutely nothing).. The previous one was (I fail at everything, especially life).. I agree with what you’re saying, and i have tried my best to stay strong, can you understand when i feel i have humiliated myself? I’m trying my best now to slowly forget and move on because i have tried my best to help her thinking she was maybe shy and so on.. But i guess she does have a mind, she has a mouth and so on, it’s not that hard for her to actually start talking. I’ve seen her do it with other people. She has no problem so it seems. Just when it comes to ME – there’s complications..

over 13 years ago
angel34 didn't upload a photo

angel (angel34)

416 posts

Hi Have a read of the added piece to my last post it may help you understand basically she is manipulating you to keep you where she wants you as a form of control the self pitty is emotional manipulation to get what she wants from you have seen it happen to me and so I guess I recognised it here.

over 13 years ago
destinyseeker didn't upload a photo

ME (destinyseeker)

104 posts

Thankyou Angel, and the thing is, it all makes sense, it’s like, i have great intuition, but still need it confirmed, does that make sense? i guess also, that she’s doing this, she’s then free to just Piss Off and leave me there.. I’ve been through this before, it’s like history repeating itself, so you’d think i would have learned by now.. Maybe I was too vulnerable and still am to a point, because i’m not long getting over the hurt and abuse that’s happened in the past. I guess i’m attracting this. It’s like i get this feeling that something will happen, although, that could be her doing that, or maybe just me wanting it to happen.. Thankyou, it makes sense,.. i just wish i could forget the fact she exits because i must be a weak person to allow myself to be treated like that. x

over 13 years ago
angel34 didn't upload a photo

angel (angel34)

416 posts

Don’t ever think that you are weak, there are people out there who take advantage and know what to look for when looking for their next victim. I guess you allowed yourself to open up to someone that you thought was half decent and now you realise who she really is. I guess now take time out for you and heal properly and with time you will heal. And when the time is right the right person will enter your life and they will be like a breathe of fresh air, they will make you feel good and you will not have the issues you have had in the past. It will take time but give yourself that time.