I just dont get it

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I dont understand y this keeps happening to me. i just want it to al end. Does he really have to torture me like this. Y is god allowing me to b subjected to this form of abuse. he said dont call and i dont. but that doesnt make it ok for him to do me like this. i just want peace and harmony in my life for tha sake of me and my children. i need help on how to resolve these isues that i have with him but is seems everywhere i turn i get nothing.. what do i do