English (Change)

how are things and advice

over 7 years ago
ivand didn't upload a photo

Ivan Delabra Lara (ivand)

39 posts

I miss my exgf Chantal is painful to have to lost two gfs and the word ex gf I want to chat to her she havent mailed me and we havent chatted she is diferent now and I miss her and our chat when my life is ruined and im so lonely and my mom makes it worse. How are things and what I chould do? I really want to die now that noone needs me and that I dont have anything im tired to live like this and I dont want to be a problem causing my mom to spend so much on me like this. I miss my first gf Jen and my lost gf Chantal I have loved them more than anything and even if that I failed to help me and give us all we wanted wasnt my fault but destiy and archangels it kills me and I feel horrible.

over 7 years ago
garnetta didn't upload a photo

jenny Fardell (garnetta)

186 posts

Ivan, I’ve replied to you a few days ago. I mentioned that the archangels are here to protect you from something, even though it seems as if they’re against you. You are desperate to be needed, because that’s the only way you know how to meet your own needs. Start nurturing yourself. I would strongly advise you to find some sort of healing. I don’t know where you live or what is available, but I want you to look up BIO-DANZA. This is a form of contact dancing and is an extremely good healing space. There may be sessions in your area. I think you need other people in your life. You have been so focused on Jen and Chantal, and that has become your whole life. You need to start learning how to engage with yourself. Spread you wings a bit so your life doesn’t always revolve around intense boy/girlfriend relationships (which leave you with nothing when they end) and your mum. I also advise a chat with the Samaritans.. You can do this online or by phone. You don’t want to be in this place on your own. We are listening to you here, and we’ve all been in this horrible place, but there are a lot of other issues which you need some sort of counselling for. I’m so sorry, Ivan. I feel so sad you are heartbroken. :(

over 7 years ago
ivand didn't upload a photo

Ivan Delabra Lara (ivand)

39 posts

Thanks for your time Jenny but please dont treat me as I were crazy I hate the archangels and my destiny because they ruined my life I chouldnt be alive anymore I wish I had been normal withouth coming back and had died before my Jen had left me so I had died happy and fullfilled I die everyday of one sided pain that kills me everyday wishing I died asking archangels to end my misery give me my memories back of all that has happened and all that has happened to me and then stop existing. I miss her everyday and my life is ruined and empty I dont have anything and noone needs me and im tired to live like this it has been many years and my life has been pointless I have done everything for the women I loved and I dont mean anything in less than a month. I havent been lucky to find the archangels summoning spells so I can die have all my memories back and then stop existing. Can you please help me? I really miss her and want to chat but that I dont mean anything hurts me and I want to talk but dont know how to say and how to start. I would be grateful if you asked archangels to kill me,asked a powerful witch or wizard to kill me and sent a message to Summer in lovemagick forum I have to admit I will never forgive her but I miss her Im worried about her and need her. The man that noone needs that has nothing to live for that chould be dead now Ivan

over 7 years ago
garnetta didn't upload a photo

jenny Fardell (garnetta)

186 posts

I don’t think you are crazy at all. Maybe you aren’t ready to hear the sort of things I’m saying. The fact that you are constantly saying you want to die and want some magic force to end your life tells me you need to talk this through with someone face to face who can help you come through this awful time. Even if I was in a position to ask any magic force to kill you, I wouldn’t want to. Why? Because you are needed. You are worth something. And you have a right, and deserve, to live. At the moment you are suffering from more grief than is fair, or more than you feel is humanely possible. I was being serious about your need for hands on healing and to contact the Samaritans. They are there to help with ALL issues, I have found them extremely good lifeline when I felt no one understood or could deal with my emotional well-being. Most importantly you need help to realise there is a place for you here. And you need to learn there is a life outside of relationships. When you begin to find fulfilment in other areas of life you will be stronger in your relationships and feel more in control. I am NOT saying ‘pull yourself together’ because that is impossible for you to do. And no one should expect it of you at this point in time. What I AM saying is PLEASE take a step towards loving and needing yourself. Ivan, the more like this you feel, the more you’ll feel their are negative forces working against you. You need help to fight against letting them drag you down. That’s why I’ve suggested the avenues you can go down to get this much needed help. Because you talk about other people needing you. But the one person who is crying out for needs to be met, is yourself….

over 7 years ago
ivand didn't upload a photo

Ivan Delabra Lara (ivand)

39 posts

thanks so much for listening Jenny and your time there is nothing for me out there anymore and noone needs me but I do love her and that baby I will never met now If I won a million now I would mail her and give that money to her for the baby and her college since I dont have nothing and noone to live anymore Its been years and im tired to survive im just tired and more than bored. latetly I have been thinking on the daughther I never had with my first love that little girl that never existed really moved me a lot I understand Jenilee more than ever even if maybe she never wanted the things I wanted when I lost her and before I lost Chantal. I dont want to be useless weight that my mother spends anymore and if Chantal forgot me so fast and she dated a guy is obius my existance is meaningless. I hate I was brought back to life by the dark ones and that my life was ruined by archnagels and destiny I wish I had died when I was happy with my Jenilee. My life has been empty and I have been tormented by archangels and demons yet neither demons or angels have set me free it might be hard to believe but is true. Its so sad and frustrating you have to be misserable so the woman you love is happy and have all you couldnt have and couldnt give her. I will no longer beg or ask the archangels to kill me but I wish for it everyday. Please dont let me alone and help me guys.

over 7 years ago

Dude seriously, Ivan you can’t possibly talk about loving anyone if younare talking about suicide. Becasue that is not self love. That’s self loathing! You wish you died? seriously? Because someone doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Hell I’m in the same boat you are in I love a woman and her children and it hurts everyday I don’t talk to her, but no way will I commit suicide or even contemplate it. Y’know why? Becasue I have FAITH! Faith that we will reunite or that God has another plan in place for me! And its hard, hell yeah it’s hard. I cried over her before I started typing this but I still have FAITH! I know my life will continue, I know God has not let go of me, like He hasn’t let go of you. Personally I think you need to seperate yourself from your situation and start loving Ivan again, or for once. Worry about losing you instead of her. If all of you is placed in another person YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY my friend, NEVER. Please get a grip and stop polluting these boards with this crap. I’m sorry I’m not trying to be harsh but enough already. Hell most of us here are looking for answers and help because we are in the same boat as you! Be strong, join a gym, do some pushups, man-up!! You will make it and guess what if you are all the things you say you are and she is too stupid to realize it for whatever reason, guess what? Good riddance! Someone else will love you and appreciate you. You proved it by getting her after you were heartbroken before. So do it again. I say that to tell myself the same thing. Good Luck Ivan. Please stop posting this on these boards. Peace.

over 7 years ago
ivand didn't upload a photo

Ivan Delabra Lara (ivand)

39 posts

Thank you for listening please let me know how things are I want some answers.Please be understanding when my life is over and help me and give me good advice.I dont belive in God or achnangels.

over 7 years ago
garnetta didn't upload a photo

jenny Fardell (garnetta)

186 posts

Ivan my dear, we’ve listened and given you answers. All you need to do now is BELIEVE in YOURSELF. Come on now. Get out there like Terrence says. Get out there and DO. No one is saying it’ll be easy. But you have to be strong and help yourself. Only you are capable of using our advice. We can’t do that for you. And how do you know no one needs you if you don’t get out there and find out who does? Get involved with some community voluntary work. Start meeting people. Take control. We’ve given you starting points. It’s up to you to use them. I’m willing you to do this, Ivan, with all my heart…

over 7 years ago
garnetta didn't upload a photo

jenny Fardell (garnetta)

186 posts

Ivan my dear, we’ve listened and given you answers. All you need to do now is BELIEVE in YOURSELF. Come on now. Get out there like Terrence says. Get out there and DO. No one is saying it’ll be easy. But you have to be strong and help yourself. Only you are capable of using our advice. We can’t do that for you. And how do you know no one needs you if you don’t get out there and find out who does? Get involved with some community voluntary work. Start meeting people. Take control. We’ve given you starting points. It’s up to you to use them. I’m willing you to do this, Ivan, with all my heart…

over 7 years ago
ivand didn't upload a photo

Ivan Delabra Lara (ivand)

39 posts

She writed me a very mean unfair message I miss her and im so lonely my life is empty and we havent chatted or mailed and now that It doesnt mather that baby really means a lot to me I love him It was going to be our baby and our new life. Please let me know and help me even if I cant do anything now your advice is welcome.

over 7 years ago
garnetta didn't upload a photo

jenny Fardell (garnetta)

186 posts

Of course you love your baby. It was part of you and she. A beginning. A fresh start. Hope. Babies are so special. They bring out the best, and worse, in us. Now we can move forward, Ivan. Can you find it in yourself to be angry with her BUT IN A POSITIVE way? I mean reply to her message. You can say this exactly, or rephrase it in your own words:_ Hi. I respect how you feel about me but no matter what you think of me, I would like you to respect me and my good intentions to love and cherish the baby like a father should. I hope, one day, that you can at least allow me to have a relationship with the baby. Maybe you can let me buy it something nice. And when you are ready, maybe let me see it and hold it. Thank you. It is focused on the baby rather than yourself and what has happened in the relationship. A mum will usually consider her baby above herself and will see that you put the baby first rather than yourself. It is not begging her and putting pressure on her to have you back. But is showing you can stand up for yourself and deserve her respect. One step at a time, Ivan. As long as you do something it’s a step in the right direction to healing your heart.