Will we ever have a baby??

18 posts, 6 voices

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Hi Guys so a little info about me im 25 dob 18/10/1985 iv been with my partner nearly 6yrs his dob 29/12/1983. We have been trying to conceive now for 4 years, I had a miscarriage in Jan 06, an ectopic that ruptured in oct 06, another ectopic dec 09 and a miscarriage Nov 10. We have tried everything medically and the doctors cannot find any physical reason why we cannot conceive, sometimes i get really down and wonder if i will ever give birth to my own child… Could someone give me some guidance… Kindest Regards Amy

I’m so sorry. I’ve had one miscarriage having gone through all the fertility stuff, and that was bad enough. I can’t imagine what you must be going through having all these potential lives taken away from you. What would happen if someone said to you now, STOP! I wish someone had said it to me. Taken control of my situation for me and told me NO, you are NOT going to conceive. STOP pushing yourself mentally and physically. Because I think, for myself, the hardest thing was not knowing one way or the other, and pushing myself to the limit, getting more and more desperate. I think if someone had just said ‘NO’, I could have grieved properly for what I wouldn’t have and move on. It was the constant – now I might be able to, now I’m not, now I’m waiting for more tests etc.. I feel as if I wasted years of my life letting this one thing cloud my whole existence and, eventually, ruin a marriage. What is important here is keeping hold of your partner. Making a conscious decision about STOPPING so it becomes your choice and under your control. Letting your body rest, your mind and soul grieve properly and move forward. Begin by imagining what life will be like without children. Could you still be happy with your partner? Other people having babies? Making the most of your free time? As in relationships, the person who matters is you and your feeling of self worth, and not compromising other things you enjoy in life for the sake of this thing which seems a necessity for you to feel complete as a woman and as a ‘proper’ couple. So, what I suggest you do is to start thinking about fostering and adopting. You’ll be able to google agencies in your area. I suggest you go for some healing sessions and counselling. I want you to look after yourself and nurture your body which has gone through so much. And I suggest you and your partner go and do some stuff which really physically connect you to each other. Dancing/saunas/go for a massage together…. Because, from my own experience, sex became a mechanical process which was monitored by medical people. I personally got to feeling there was nothing left which was private, or my own, or my decision to give. And to be very personal it has eventually destroyed my physical relationship with my husband. I wish I’d have taken time with him, to be able to forget the baby processing bit of things and just enjoy sex for its own sake. To take a hold of your partner’s feelings (communication is the key element here, something else I lost. We both withdrew into our own worlds and because we treated this so differently I can’t communicate with him on an emotional level) and nurture each other. I would even seriously consider suggesting you use condoms for a few months (because female contraceptives will cover up any medical problems there may be). And really give yourselves time to rest, grow together and reaffirm where you’re both at, especially on a spiritual and emotional level. I hope this helps a bit. I really feel for you both, but especially you because we all do want our own babies and have the potential to be mothers and feel it’s such a waste and that we’re so cheated if we can’t. Big hug. x

Thankyou very much for your advise!! I was actually talking to my partner yesterday and said if some-one told me to STOP its never going to happen then i could then deal with that, after my first ectopic the doctors told me i would never conceive naturally and even though we havnt had a live birth that has been proved wrong, I once saw a phycic when i was 17 who told me i would have fertility issues but would have a baby when im 27, im tired of waiting! I think if we would never have children of our own adoption would be out of the question i want to carry a child of my own i dont know if that is selfish but its how i feel. Im really looking for spiritual guidance and what i can expect in my future im a firm believer things are already mapped out for us and would really apreciate just a little insight.

Again thankyou for your reply its much apreciated!! x

Send your time and place of birth’s too. It is not really a big problem when it comes to indian astrology. There are specific combinations mentioned in ancient texts which cause this and the way to resolve this problem too.

my time of birth was 6.31pm, The royal oldham hospital, Greater manchester, Lancashire, My partner was born at the same hospital but unfortunatly his time of birth is unknown as his mother has passed.

Many thanks

I also dont know if this bares any relivance, But a few weeks ago i had a dream that i was sitting on the sofa reading a book when all of a sudden my waters broke but i didnt even know i was pregnant or have any signs of pregnancy, I eventually gave birth to a baby boy was checked over by paramedics then my mum and dad came over as we had no food,clothes or a pram she brought me some old stuff she had of my nephews i had given the baby some milk then because i only had one bottle i was panaking that i couldnt sterilise the bottle before the next feed and was really histerical then i woke up crying….Was very very weird indeed i dont know if i want this soo much that its beginning to take over my dreams too?!? Iv never had a dream like this before or after but its really stuck in my mind i can remember it like it was real.

hello write your date of birth,time,place of birth and name. I will reply your all the questions related to child birth. For final answer join me in chat. God bless you.

Amy Curry, dob 18.10.1985,6.31pm,Royal Oldham hospital. Partner Paul Shaw dob 29.12.1983, time unknown, Royal Oldham Hospital.

Yes, I dreamed of having babies, twins actually, then they’d turn out to not be mine at all. I know you want your own, and it’s a frustrating need which needs acknowledgement and dealing with. I’m sorry you feel as though you couldn’t adopt a child. It is different and as much as my older boy has attachment disorder from not having that initial mothering, I think that it works the other way as well in that because I’ve not been through that pregnancy and bonding I have issues. I wish, in some ways, I hadn’t had kids at all. But I know a lot of adoptions which have worked amazingly well for all. There may be a child out there who is destined to be parented by you. And if you don’t conceive, it could take another 4 or 5 years to get through yet another system. All in all it took me 10 wasted years…. Anyway, we’re all different and cope with these things in individual ways. i wish you all the best and really hope you’ll have your baby one day.

Hi

Don’t give up yet miscarriages are more common than people realise its said that 1 in 4 pregnancies end this way. Have the doctors exhausted all the medical reasons why this keeps happening the reason is what not why. Perhaps maybe do some research look at family history on both sides as your partners dna is part of this. The reason maybe simple and fixable but you may need to take a deeper look. Don’t give up a child will bless your lives when you least expect it and remember its the child who chooses their parents before birth.

Best of luck

Hi

I just did a quick search and found something interesting but to let you know there maybe a solution you may want to explore.

The reason why this keeps happening is because the egg isnt planting itself where it should be which is the uteris it seems to be planting itself in the ovaries or your felopian tubes and there isnt enough room for the organs to grow and so the egg explodes. The solution have you looked at the possibility of a test tube baby its where the first part is done in a lab they take your egg and your husbands sperm then implant back into your uteris I know the very first couple here who had the same problem they had a little girl as a result of this method.

Explore this option it maybe your one chance to have a child.

Best of luck

Hi Amy,

Just because the doctors can’t find a reason why you can’t get pregnant does not mean you can’t get pregnant. I specialize in health readings. There might be some herbs I could prescribe for you after doing a health reading and there are doctors that unblock your ability to have a baby if that is still possible. I don’t know what kind of medicine or doctors you’re dealing with or your life circumstances. It could just be something in your diet or lifestyle which today’s medical community completely ignores. This would require an I Ching reading on health. Tarot and Runes don’t really handle this. Neither does astrology or numerology. Contact me if you are interested in trying some alternative medicinal methods. They work. Peace and Blessings, Angel of Lights

P.S. In my dream interpretation, that just proves I’m right. You can still get pregnant. I had an abortion and I dreamed I was taking care of the baby. That’s because it was an incomplete abortion and part of the baby was still physically and spiritually with me. I thought I was crazy because I knew I had had an abortion. It was not until I discoverd the botched abortion that I understood the dreams. The baby was crying for relase fully into the other realm. I don’t base your reading on my own story alone, but I do dream interpretations all that time and I read your dream AFTER my post which just confirms what I know – you can still get pregnant. Let’s talk. Relax, it can still be OK.

@ angel34- We have considered reproductive medicine (ivf) but was turned down as iv had 2 pregnancys in 2 years- ivf is for people who have had no pregnancys in 2 years this is on the NHS, And unfortunatly we just cannot afford the £5000 to go private. My last pregnancy i had a scan at 5wks 6days and was told everything was perfect but just 36hrs later i miscarried. I suppose it really is the luck of the draw like you said 1in4 pregnancys end in miscarriage, As far as i know there is no fertility issues eather side of the family my mum is 1 of 7 my dad is 1 of 4 i am 1 of 5 my partner is 1 of 4 his mum is 1 of 4 his dad is one of 6 so we are both from large familys.

@ angel of lights- Thankyou very much for your advice, I have started taking a herb called Maca as i have heard good reviews on this. My problem isnt getting pregnant its a live birth, I only have 1 falopian tube (my left) and both overys but obviously when i ovulate from my right it doesnt result it pregnancy as i have no tube, I would definatly be interested in any herbal medication you could suggest.

Thankyou both for your replys.

I have a relitavely healthy lifestyle, Im 5ft5 10.3st, dont drink or smoke. eat as healthyly as i can, I take multi vitamins and folic acid daily i also added Maca 1000mg per day about 40days ago, My only thing is coffee which i am trying to quit LOL

Hi

Do any of the following apply or have ever applied

Have you ever been diagnosed with an sti such as clamydia or ghonnarea I would recommend you have a full screening done through a smear and bloods to check this

Have you ever been on any form of contraception high in progesterone such as the depo provera or any that contains that

Have you ever had any abdominal surgery

Have you ever been diagnosed with PID which stands for pelvic inflamatory disease

Have the ectopic pregnancies been removed properly

Has your 1 and only felopian tube been damaged such as scaring from the previous ectopic pregnancies.

If you answered yes to any of these you have an increased chance of it happening again and because you have had 2 the chances are even higher.

Your only options a test tube baby or surrogacy which is where they take your egg your partners sperm and implant into another woman who is just the incubator for 9 months.

I am quite surprised your doctor has not told you this. I would see a fertility clinic who are experienced with this as just cutting out coffee may not be enough. As for funding I would look at a government grant as an option. Ask about for funding options

Best of luck

I have been to the best fertility specialists in Manchester University, I am very much aware i am at increased risk of a repeat ectopic. The doctors have said they will not see me for 12months of trying to conceive naturally. I am quite educated in my own fertility i have been going through this for many years. To be honest i am quite aware of my options i was looking for some spiritual/phycic guidance. Thanks again for your advice.

Sweetheart, please make sure first and foremost that you are not screwing yourself up with this one goal and aim in life – to prove everyone wrong. I look back on myself 15 years ago and hear my voice so much in what you are saying here. You are right to seek spiritual guidance for your well-being and healing and giving yourself and partner a break from this stress. You need to ‘let go’. Let go of the pressure you are putting yourself under because part of you won’t be happy feeling like a failure if it doesn’t work out. The pressure of ‘everyone rooting for you’ isn’t that helpful in some ways because what they should be saying is – IT REALLY doesn’t matter if this happens, or not, to us as your friends or family or society which sees THE Baby as the ultimate proof or bonding of a relationship or womanhood. People should be encouraging, yes, but should also make it clear to you that this isn’t the ultimate goal for them. If you can’t see what I’m saying now, you will in a few years or so. Go to your nearest healing centre. Make sure you are looked after and pampered and do things which feel good in yourself and raise your self-worth. Acknowledge your frustration, anger, grief and other bad feelings I know your are going through. Think about them because at the moment you will probably be keeping yourself ‘busy’ with trying to deal with this issue practically, so you don’t have to think about the underlying feelings? Let go, stop clinging to walls. It’s frightening to do this but you need to take a breather. Let go, and push yourself away from this so you can see the top of the cliff you are climbing and so you can float around the wider picture. Value yourself and nurture yourself and make sure you protect and put your relationship with your partner above the need and attempts to have a baby. Big hug.

ps. It’s good that you are being healthy, but it doesn’t work like that. People drink like fish and smoke like chimneys and still breed like rabbits. My sister-in-law had coffee, odd glass of wine, soft cheese, and produced a healthy baby. I quit everything thinking I was doing myself a favour…. basically life isn’t fair and doesn’t work like that, but I’m healthier now for having looked after myself then :):)