Soulmates: time for a rethink

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For years we have heard the churning out of what a soul mate is, this has lead to many women and men having misconceptions and worse expectations that are just not realistic. We were all told that all you had to do was find your soul mate and you would be set for life. Then these relationships started breaking down and twin flames became the flavour of the day, built into this little marketing strategy for love was the intimation that this is much harder to find but so much more rewarding when you did. OOps and now these are starting to break down. Perhaps its time to take a look at connections V past lives and see how we do.If you have romance on your mind or are in a relationship you might want to look at the dynamic and how you relate to the opposite sex. From the perspective of all beings are interconnected, we are ALL soul mates. From a perspective of having a relationship then how we do relationships is a key factor, love is rarely the issue. The whole idea that you might reconnect with a past life relationship (more than mildly abhorrent, sort of like getting back with an ex while still having all the same old issues if you think about it) is not necessarily the best way to look for love. Who is to say that meeting the best match with someone you have never had a past connection, is not deficient of depth, but actually better by the very freshness of emotion and the choice involved in creating something new. Can you be open enough to allow that meeting someone and making a connection is about personalities and similarities? can you be open enough to the idea that the person who may be right for you does not fit your demographic of what a partner should be? Has it ever occurred to you that you might have so many conditions placed on love that it is no longer love at all but more an agreement to travel for a while with someone going in the same direction?

Lets look at Demographics, this is where your interests, your social activities and your career are all placed within a limitation (zone) that means you can only meet people(friends and potential partners) that move around in that zone. If you traditionally meet the wrong person or find that those attracted to you are not what you want it may be time to change the zones. Personality dictates to a certain extent what we are attracted to in the area of leisure activity, however we can extend our interests to encompass things we are not likely to want to do but happy to watch others doing or enjoying. That means go try things you normally wouldn’t, place yourself in a variety of spaces that are not the norm for you, this exposes you to different personalities, and different levels of development of those very same personalities.

Conditions, this is a huge whoa area for many, love is not conditional yet i hear and see conditions placed on it as a normal rather than odd part of love. Think about what love really is, if you have a partner you are resenting, it is a good time to take that in hand and remind yourself of the person they are and help them resolve what is going on inside themselves or ask for help if you need it, this is how we build trust. If you are wanting love in your life, ask yourself if you would be happy with love really. As an example if i were to say the man/woman that is perfect for you is a pot smoking person disinterested in work of any sort, but loved you deeply, would treat you well and never want to be with another, would you say okay! or would you start working out the kinks in their personality and decide they were not for you, or worse decide they were for you and set about trying to make changes rather than allowing them to make changes if that is what is right for them.

This would be the single biggest area of breakdown in many relationships. I have more stories than i would ever care to tell of clients who’s marriage breaks down when a partner decides to do something different, for example, begin a business, get a job or lose one or either. Even having children or not being able to can break down relationships where the conditions are so stringent that the partnership cannot survive any major changes in the fulfillment of their goals

I do not believe in predestiny simply because it is direct conflict with free choice/will. I believe we make soul connections when we are open enough to loving another person totally and without conditions, demographics and agendas. I also through many years of reading relationships found too often there is a lack of willingness to love another quite simply as they are. we do this with our children, family and friends but not with partners. A good question would be to ask why we have an expectation of a partner to do our will, be what we want or change for us rather than loving them for who they are, after all that is what we should have fallen in love with in the first place.