ADVENTURES OF A HOT MESS...WHEN MERCURY GOES RETROGRADE PART 1

1 post, 1 voice

Back to News & Articles

As many of you may already know, the planet Mercury went into retrograde (this past Thanksgiving) on November 24, 2011 and went direct this past Wednesday December 14, 2011.

So, essentially, the planet that rules travel & communication was orbiting backwards for a good three weeks.

As a result virtually anything connected to communication (ie: electronics, the written word, spoken word, transportion, etc) may have posed a challenge for us.

And of course this involves interpersonal relationships.

Still, most retrogrades don’t seem to bother me much.

Sure, verbal & written communication may become a little shotty and electronics may begin to act friggin insane by beeping uncontrollably, but other than that, I’m usually okay.

This retrograde was a completely different story.

About a week before it actually hit, I began to feel these huge waves of depression and sadness that seemed to only intensify as it got closer to Thanksgiving.

Since I’m not much of a holiday person anyway, the sadness surprised me.

Suddenly suppressed emotions & past relationships began to make their way to the surface.

I wanted to ignore them, disregard the sinking feeling in my stomach and pretend that they no longer existed.

Or perhaps I simply wanted reprieve from the unbearable pain I was feeling; a bone wrenching ache that would not go away and begged for my simple recognition.

Something inside of me wanted out; needed to express how she was feeling.

Honestly.

In that emotional state, my memory drifted back to a past relationship. It ended a few weeks before the retrograde, and deep down I knew the split was for the best.

Still, I was peeved by the way this person treated me; seemingly disregarding my feelings & humanity.

So, nearly a month later I decided to write him a letter, smack dab in the middle of Mercury’s planetary excursion.

I spoke honestly and truthfully about how I felt, and while the letter itself may not have appeared angry I was definitely brimming with rage and indignation as I completed it.

My spirit guide gently suggested that I refrain from sending anything his way, but since I was also angry with her, I ignored the warning.

A few days later I received a response from him that confirmed her concerns: he did not feel that he had done anything wrong & wouldn’t accept reponsibility for the way he treated me.

So, instead of feeling better. I actually felt worse.

It didn’t help that I directed anger his way either, because when he wouldn’t receive it the emotion bounced right back in my lap; begging me to deal with her.

Perhaps, you’re thinking that at this point I’d stop, regroup, and allow myself to actually feel the emotion?

Oh no. The hot mess gets even hotter.

After the fiasco with my former flame I then became embroiled in a shouting match with a woman at a local portrait studio.

I had taken pictures (during the retrograde) and received a portrait CD (during the retrograde) from the studio that could not be used for it’s intended purposes (during the retrograde.) Therefore, I wanted a refund.

When she refused I let it rip, left an unintelligible message with the district manager, and ended my tyrade with “happy holidays.”

Now at this point you might be saying, “this woman is a spiritual medium and she’s acting like this?”

Uh-huh…

My thoughts exactly.

The bottom line is this when we don’t deal with what hurts us and allow ourselves to truly feel and express the emotion , chances are it will bubble to the surface when we least expect.

Since Mercury rules communication, that also involves communication & honesty with one’s self.

Since I wouldn’t allow myself to feel the pain of rejection and extend forgivness to the person I was dating (during the relationship) it popped up in the retrograde.

Looking back, it was clear that I refused to accept that I felt ignored, devalued, and unsupported, not only in the relationship but in life by many people who claimed to love me.

My spirit was begging to be heard and help me heal.

Still, she needed my support, and I was nowhere to be found.

In my funk of hot-messness I reached out to a close personal friend, who is also a spiritual medium.

I actually felt some apprehension about admitting that I needed help and thus could no longer appear perfect: 0 ) but eventually I sucked it up and told her my plight.

She gently suggested that I get quiet again and listen to my spirit, no matter what.

So I that’s exactly what did.

Here’s what I got…

Read Part 2 of this article to learn more