Dating Tips

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Technology is a huge part of the dating world in 2017 and beyond. This is a whole different ball game, then when Generation X and Baby Boomers dated.

If you feel an Instant attraction, a push-pull feeling, and focused strongly on another individual, this doesn’t mean they’re your soul mate. I have the urge to merge with lots of individuals, but it doesn’t mean they’re the one.

What this sometimes means is that you’re mirroring certain characteristics and qualities similar to your own or someone you feel close to and they remind you of this person. They bring up similar emotions, thoughts, and feelings, you associate with the person you’re comparing them too in your life.

If someone is a soul mate, they come in various forms: brother, sister, cousin, friend, aunt, uncle, mother, father, romantic partner.

I notice in modern dating, in 2017, there are a lot of strategic mind games and some of these methods are called cushioning, bread crumbing, ghosting, brazing, and hunting. I’ve observed this since online since 2010.

Cushioning is having a few good women or men stacked up online for back up. Leading multiple people on, allowing one to believe you’re interested in them romantically or sexually. This is kind of like trying out someone before buying and forgetting these people are also human beings who have emotions, thoughts, and feelings and never tell them you’re already in a serious relationship.

Ghosting is a very negative experience one encounters when they’re led to believe someone is interested in them. The individual may be a part of your life for a year or more, they act honestly, and spend time forming a relationship, and all of a sudden they disconnect from you and disappear from your life entirely with no further explanation or contact of why.

This leaves you with rejection and abandonment issues and not knowing why or what you did wrong.

Benching is leading multiple individuals on to believe you’re interested, with many other individuals lined up, but you’re not in a serious relationship.

This goes with Bread Crumbing. Leading someone on for a certain point of time, dropping bread crumbs along the way to lure them along, and at a certain point drop the bomb and end the relationship.

The whole idea is to cause chaos and confusion, feelings of rejection, abandonment, fight or flight, and fear.

The world certainly changed in dating. The games are invented, and people get hurt emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and sometimes physically.

1. Any man or woman worth dating, will not play mind games. They will be honest with you and themselves. They will be responsible and call you back or answer you when they say they will answer you.

2. Sex is a dead giveaway they’re only interested in sex. The whole flirting back and forth will escalate the manipulation of emotions, thoughts and feelings.

3. Long-term relationships, build on friendship and a strong foundation. Long-term relationships are based on companionship, shared interests, soul to soul communication, both giving and receiving love, nurturing, listening, and sharing life together. There is honesty, trust, rapport, and accountability.

4. Drama & Trauma causes the same in return. What you put out there, you will receive in return. You have a choice whether you participate and play the game, or step out of it and choose to find appropriate healthy individuals to share in your experience.

5. Actions speak louder than words. Ignore the words, watch the actions, and be objective. Withhold making emotional investments and attachments without taking a year or longer to determine whether this person is really someone who would make a suitable partner. Focus on friendship first and not be in a hurry and rush things. This weeds out the individuals who will never stick around long enough to be a part of your life.

6. When you focus on someone you’re forming an emotional attachment to them. You may be laser focused, locked on, and feel you’re attracted to them, but this doesn’t mean they feel the same way, or that they are attracted to you. If you’re day dreaming, fantasizing over a long period of time, you’re making an emotional attachment, which is heartbreaking when the person decides to be honest with you and walk away.

7. Never text, write, constantly contact individuals 20-40 times a day. It makes you look desperate, insecure, needy, and clingy. Give people space to breathe, contemplate, and trust themselves. Allow them to come up with their own answers.

8. Never tell them that they’re your soul mate, twin flame, twin soul, twin ray, because this scares them off, they don’t understand it, and too many people believe people are something which they’re not. If the possibility is there, then naturally it will unfold in its own time and order of things.

9. Stop obsessing about finding, “The One”, Twinflame, Twinray, Twin Soul, Soul Mate, the perfect partner. There is no perfection in the universe. There is always the positive and a negative reflection of the masculine and feminine. By obsessing about it, you’re causing endless amounts of stress, distress, and it becomes a burden on yourself and you have never enjoyed the relationships around you.

10. Trust Love will find you in the right timing, place, and natural order of things. Rarely, does the “One” show up until you become the “One” and have a healthy perspective on relationships with yourself and them. The joy happens naturally, it’s not forced, not rushed, and doesn’t happen overnight.

11. Faith is something relationships teach you. Have faith in yourself and other individuals. Believe other individuals will do the right thing whether you’re paying attention or not paying attention.

12. Everyone lies in relationships about something. It can be big or small, but I’ve never met a person who hasn’t hidden anything, withheld information at times, had perfect habits, or did things perfectly 100% of the time.

13. With Technology, you will be forced to learn to trust, have faith, and not allow certain situation’s effect you. Leave your partner computer devices alone and trust they will do what is right or dig in there and get all bent out of shape emotionally. This is just natural to feel the way you do, but you have control over whether you want to focus on the negative or create a positive relationship.

Respect other peoples privacy and boundaries. Do you share all your devices with them, do you say and do things on your own device, that if you handed over your phone, they wouldn’t find anything to be offended about? You have to look at both sides. Discuss the issue openly, what are the rules of the relationship. What do you agree on? Communication and trust is necessary.