How Committed Is He?

over 9 years ago
advisorselin93's photo

selin (advisorselin93)

8 posts

Men are notorious for being commitment-shy, but is this reputation truly fair and deserved? For some men, it certainly is, but not for all of them — not by a long shot. The trouble is, many men aren’t the type to come right out and put their deepest feelings, hopes and desires into words, especially regarding relationships and commitment. This makes it tough, especially for women, to interpret their relationship signals — to read between the lines of what they say and do in order to gain insight into their intentions. It’s not that men’s and women’s relationship needs are so vastly different; it’s more that the two sexes communicate in such different ways that it can be next to impossible to understand one another. Whether you blame it on gender differences, Mars vs. Venus, or any other paradigm, the end result is the same: Often, men and women simply aren’t speaking the same language.The following are some typical signals men send out in love affairs that speak to their level of commitment to the relationship Signals that he’s just in it for the moment, and commitment is unlikely:

You’re always the one asking him to get together; he rarely initiates making plans with you. He always invites you out to group events, such as clubs, dinner parties or music shows, instead of one-on-one dates that might give you a better chance to talk and connect. When you do spend time alone together, he avoids meaningful conversation and soulful eye contact, or acts as if he wishes he were somewhere else. When you’re together, he often cuts the date short because “something just came up.”Signals that he sees a real future with you and is ready to commit:

When speaking to other people about your plans or things you’ve discussed or experienced together, he always says “we” — as in, “We really liked such-and-such restaurant,” “I’m not sure what we’re up to this weekend,” or “We want to see that movie soon.” He is eager to introduce you to his friends and family, and also to meet and spend time with yours. He calls, texts or otherwise checks in often, and when you reach out to him, he responds quickly rather than making you wait. He shows you in many small ways that he listens, pays attention and knows who you are; for example, he might surprise you with takeout from your favorite restaurant or tickets to see a band you love, or he might recall something you once said in passing that you didn’t realize stuck with him.